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“SISTERS ON A COMMON JOURNEY”
In October of 2005, I was given the opportunity to travel to Kenya as part of
a delegation from our archdiocese which is beginning a partnership with the
Diocese of Kitui. During our visit, our large group divided into smaller
groups of two or three and traveled for four days into the outlying villages
of the diocese.
On this visit, Mike and Linda Ojile from Cannon Falls
accompanied me to the village of Mwingi. On the first day of our visit, we
were taken to the village of Nguutani where we were asked to meet with the
board representatives of the CWA (Catholic Women Association) groups.
This proved to be a life-changing moment for me. Like every other group I had met with, the women entered staring at us with very little affect. I’m highly intuitive and yet found that I was always unable to read what the stares were about.
Earlier I had learned that the Kenya women would begin to respond to me when I shared that I was a mother of five and a grandmother of two. I would also mention that my first husband died in 1993 and that I remarried in 1995. After hearing what I said, these women too, became quite animated. They asked questions of us and we did our best to respond with answers.
After we were done sharing, a woman named Theresa Kalikandar came forward and asked the group, “One plus one equals?” They all responded, “One!” Looking directly at us she went on to say, “When a man and woman marry, they exchange rings. This new partnership for us is like a marriage. We don’t have rings to share but in our culture the women also give gifts to the women who are getting married. Bonnie, we have already heard that you like the color red.
Please come forward.” I stepped around the table that we were seated at and while I was doing this she announced that she was going to give us new names and the group responded with verbal cheers and clapping. She then told me that from now on I would be known as Munonye. I was told later that it meant the beautiful one who is most loved. She presented me with a beautiful red, black and white basket that had two side handles.
She demonstrated how I was to put both of my arms through the handles and then carry the basket on my back. She said, “When we go to market, we use these baskets to carry our fruits and vegetables home. From now on when you go to market, you can carry your fruits and vegetables in this basket and know that we are walking the road home together in unity.”
At that point she grabbed both of my hands, kissed me on both of my cheeks
and then lightly on my lips. With very big smiles, we then got nose to nose and
looked into each others eyes. Like two little girls sharing a secret, our spirits
connected and we shook with excitement. There was no color or cultural barrier
between us. We were sisters on a common journey blessed to be in one
another’s company sharing our stories of sorrow and joy,
pain and resurrection.
After the same naming ceremony and gift presentation
took place with Linda and Mike, she again addressed the
group. She asked, “One plus one equals?” and they all
joyfully responded, “One!”. Her ending response to us
was, “Until death do us part!” I cried tears of happiness
and knew I would forever be changed by this bond.
As we were walking out of the building to go to mass, Theresa called to me and asked if I could wait for her. As we walked arm in arm, she said, “When I came here today, I couldn’t imagine what we could possibly have in common. When you told your story, I knew.
Your husband died in 1993, mine died in 1992. You know my story. You’ve worn my shoes. You have shared my pain. We will be sisters forever.” We hung onto each other and cried as we walked to mass.
As we entered the church, Linda, Mike and I were asked to sit in the front pew. Beautiful, liturgical dancers began singing and dancing up the aisle. As I stood there, I felt an emptiness and knew that I wanted to be with Theresa. Once the dancers were in the front of church, I walked back to find her. I held out my hand to her and she took it.
Hand in hand, we danced up the aisle to the singing. When we arrived in the front, we extended our clasped hands in the air until the music was complete. We looked at each other and through tears smiled. She once again said, “Until death do us part” and I knew what those words truly meant. I will NEVER forget that I have a sister in Nguutani, Kenya for life! Thank you, God.